


the green has never been greener

by quarterleigh



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: (the quickest turnaround there ever was), Alternate Universe - Golf, Hate to Love, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-27
Updated: 2019-01-27
Packaged: 2019-10-17 15:48:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 587
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17563403
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/quarterleigh/pseuds/quarterleigh
Summary: “Are you going to pick those horrendous monstrosities up or should I alert your caddy boy?”Two times Dan complains about Phil's golf clubs.





	the green has never been greener

 Dan hates Phil’s golf clubs. The first time they met, Phil had his golf bag tipped over on the green, the neon blue clubs sliding out onto the grass. He was smiling at something on his phone, as if unaware that he was violating about a dozen rules. “Are you going to pick those horrendous monstrosities up or should I alert your caddy boy?” The caddy boy jumped up from his cart to gather up the clubs before Phil even looked up from his phone.  
 “Oh, sorry about that,” he had said when he finally met Dan’s gaze. “I like to really see all my clubs when I’m choosing which to use.”  
 “I think everyone can see those... things from here to the clubhouse.” Phil’s face hardened slightly and it gave Dan a weird swooping sensation in his stomach. “I mean… they’re just very. They’re very bright, aren’t they?” Phil shrugged.  
 “Yeah. So?”  
 “So… nothing I guess. I was just pointing it out.”  
 “Right. Well, I’m about to-“  
 “You’re Phil, right?” Dan felt the words come out before he had even made the choice to say them. But he had been watching Phil Lester from afar for weeks, judging his clothes and his clubs and his caddy boys. He had started complaining about him to James, another golfer he sometimes met up with for drinks and James had scoffed and informed him that Phil was ‘probably the kindest and most down-to-earth person in this postcode.’  
 “Yes,” Phil said, eyebrows knitted together and looking at the ground. “And I’m actually done now, so go ahead and set up your putt. Sorry for being in your way.”  
 Dan watched as Phil got into his cart and made his way back towards the clubhouse. The feeling at the pit of his stomach told him that maybe he should have been nicer, but he pays exorbitant fees to golf at this range, and he wasn’t about to have the green ruined for everyone by a moron with a smartphone addiction and his lazy caddy boy.  
 He didn’t set up until he saw Phil’s cart disappear over the hill.  
                                                                                                    •

 “Phil,” Dan whines now, watching Phil grab his golf bag from their coat closet. “You said we could both use my clubs today.”  
 “I changed my mind,” Phil smiles, leaning in to peck a kiss on his cheek. They’ve been living together for four years and Dan can still feel his skin heat up where Phil kissed it.  
 “Fine,” he grumbles.  
 “You love my clubs, really,” Phil teases. “You secretly want to play with them yourself.” Dan rolls his eyes.  
 “Right.”  
 “I worry sometimes that they’re why you’re with me. So you can sleep nearby them. One day you’ll leave me for them. I’ll wake up and you’ll all be gone.”  
 “Shut up, you idiot.” Dan can’t help the smile on his face, but he doesn’t try to. He takes the bag from Phil, his own in his other hand, and walks out to their car.  
 “Oh no, it’s starting!” He hears Phil cry out from behind him. “Please, you can’t both leave me!”  
 “Get in the car or we will!” Dan shouts back. He slides their golf bags into the trunk, side-by-side. He notices that a few of Phil’s clubs have found their way into his own bag, and it stops him in his tracks. The bright blue mixed in with his matte black, random and chaotic; It doesn’t look half-bad. But it might be another few years before he’ll admit it.

**Author's Note:**

> A fic inspired by Golf with Friends with no innuendo? Apparently! Hope you enjoyed <3 (you can reblog [ here ](https://boxingphil.tumblr.com/post/182345643246/the-green-has-never-been-greener))


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